Teaching Feelings Helps Promote Social Emotional Health
By Margo Takacs
Sometimes when we think of teaching our little ones about feelings, we think of “Happy, Mad and Sad”. There are so many more feelings and words that we can add to their vocabularies, including excited, anxious, loved, nervous, frustrated, etc. This “word bank” of feeling words can be referred to as “Emotional Vocabulary”. In order for children to understand and use “emotional vocabulary”, it must be taught, modeled and practiced intentionally on a regular basis.
We can teach children through “teachable moments”, role playing and literature. “Teachable moments” are the prime opportunity for teaching and promoting emotional vocabularies. For instance, you are taking your child to the doctor and he appears nervous about going. (He may be associating going to the doctor with getting a shot.) This is a teachable moment! First, focus your attention on your child. Second, validate his feelings by stating, “It looks like you are feeling nervous about going to the doctor. I can tell by the look on your face.” Third, define the word “nervous”. Ask your child, “Do you know what nervous means?” (Show a nervous facial expression.) (Child shakes head, no.) Explain that feeling nervous means you feel unsure or worried about something. Fourth, reassure him that it’s okay to have this feeling and that you understand. Include a story about a time when you felt nervous yourself! Last, teach your child a technique for when he feels nervous. For example, take three deep breaths slowly.
When children have the words to describe their feelings, not only do these words contribute to growing vocabularies; they decrease frustration levels when communicating.
EMOTION VOCABULARY
Unsure or worried about something
Nervous
Really happy
Excited
When something happens
that you didn’t know was
Surprised going to happen
Feeling like someone
really cares about you
Loved
Feeling good about
yourself or something you
Proud have done
Feeling sleepy or not
having much energy
Tired
Feelings of great joy
Happy
Feeling painfully
hurt, upset or really mad
Angry
Feeling scared, like
something bad might happen
Afraid
Feeling alone
or missing someone you care about
Lonely
Other “Emotional Vocabulary” words include:
Bored: feeling like you have nothing to do
Overwhelmed: feeling like there are too many things happening at the same time
Hopeful: feeling sure something good or happy is going to happen
Ashamed: feeling like you did something wrong and everyone is mad at you
Anxious: feeling uneasy or worried about how something’s going to turn out
Embarrassed: feeling like you did something silly or you made a mistake and everyone is going to laugh at you
Sad: feeling really unhappy
Frightened: feeling scared
Confused: feeling “mixed up”
Confident: feeling like you are really good at something
Shy: feeling uncomfortable about talking to or being around people that you don’t know
Exhausted: feeling really tired and out of energy
Disgusted: feeling like something is really gross
Guilty: feeling like you did something that you shouldn’t have
Ecstatic: feeling great joy
Shocked: feeling like something suddenly happened that seems impossible
Frustrated: feeling like you can’t or don’t know how to do something you really want to do
Cautious: feeling like it might not be safe to do something
Hysterical: feeling out-of-control with fear or sadness
Use Literature to Teach Feelings and Emotions
WEMBERLY WORRIED by Kevin
Henkes
FEELINGS by Aliki
ON MONDAY WHEN IT RAINED
by Cherryl Kachenmeister
WHEN I FEEL JEALOUS by
Cornelia Maude Spelman
I LIKE ME by Nancy
Carlson
GLAD
MONSTER SAD MONSTER by Ed Emberley & Anne Miranda
SOMETIMES I’M BOMBALOO by
Rachel Vail
Margo Takacs is a Behavior Interventionist with the Lower Shore Early Intervention Program @ Salisbury University. Serving children ages birth to five, the program provides early childhood behavior interventions, assessments, and educational services for child care providers, families, early educators and mental health clinicians. For more information, contact the Lower Shore Early Intervention Program at: 410-677-6590.