Social and Emotional Developmental Milestones and Red Flags

BIRTH TO AGE 5*

1-3 Months Social/Emotional Developmental Milestones:

• Watches face intently
• Recognizes familiar objects and people at a distance
• Enjoys playing with other people and may cry when playing stops (2-3 months)
• Enjoys playing with other people and may cry when playing stops (2-3 months)
• Becomes more communicative and expressive with face and body (2-3 months)
• Imitates some movements and facial expressions

Red Flags for 1-3 Months:

• Doesn’t seem to respond to loud noises
• Doesn’t smile at the sound of your voice by 2 months

4-7 Months Social/Emotional Developmental Milestones:

• Enjoys social play
• Interested in mirror images (5-7 months)
• Responds to other people’s expression of emotion
• Distinguishes emotions by tone of voice
• Responds to sound by making sounds
• Uses voice to express joy and displeasure
• Syllable repetition begins

Red Flags for 4-7 Months:

• Shows no affection for the person who cares for him or her
• Doesn’t seem to enjoy being around people
• Does not respond to sounds around him or her
• Does not laugh or make squealing sounds by 5 months

8-12 Months Social/Emotional Developmental Milestones:

• Shy or anxious with strangers
• Cries when mother or father leaves
• Enjoys imitating people in his play (10-12 months)
• Shows specific preferences for certain people and toys
• Prefers mother and/or regular care provider over all others
• Repeats sounds or gestures for attention (10-12 months)
• Finger-feeds himself
• Extends arm or leg to help when being dressed
• Imitates gestures (9-12 months)
• Responds to “no”
• Responds to simple verbal requests
• Makes simple gestures, such as shaking head for no
• Babbles with inflictions (8-10)
• Uses exclamations, such as “oh-oh”

Red Flags for 8-12 Months:

• Does not say single words (“mama” or “dada”)
• Does not learn to use gestures such as waving or shaking head
• Does not show interest in “peek-a-boo” or “patty cake” by 8 months
• Does not babble by 8 months (“dada,” “baba,” “mama”)

12-24 Months Social/Emotional Developmental Milestones:

• Points to object or picture when it’s named for him (18-24 months)
• Recognizes names of familiar people, objects, and body parts (18-24 months)
• Repeats words overheard in conversations (16-18 months)
• Says several single words (15-18 months)
• Follows simple one-step instructions (14-18 months)
• Begins make-believe play (20-24 months)
• Imitates behavior or others, especially adults and older children (18-24 months)
• Increasingly enthusiastic about company or other children (20-24 months)
• Begins to show defiant behavior (18-24 months)
• Episodes of separation anxiety increase toward mid-year, then fade

Red Flags for 12-24 Months:

• Does not imitate actions or words by 24 months
• Does not follow simple one-step instructions by 24 months
• Does not speak at least 15 words by 18 months
• By 15 months, does not seem to know the function of common household objects (brush, telephone, bell, fork, spoon)
• Does not use two word sentences by age 2

 24-36 Months Social/Emotional Developmental Milestones:

• Plays make-believe with dolls, animals, and people
• Understands most sentences (24-40 months)
• Can say name age, and sex (30-36 months)
• Strangers can understand most of his or her words (24-36 months)
• By 3, separates easily from parents
• Expresses a wide range of emotions (24-36 months)

Red Flags for 24-36 Months:

• Inability to communicate in short phrases
• No involvement in pretend play
• Failure to understand simple instructions
• Little interest in other children
• Extreme difficulty separating from primary caregiver

3-4 Years Social/Emotional Developmental Milestones (by the end of age 3):

• Speaks in sentences of five to 6 words
• Asks questions
• Speaks clearly enough for strangers to understand
• Tells stories
• Engages in fantasy play
• Follows three-part commands
• Recalls part of a story
• Interested in new experiences
• Cooperates/plays with other children
• Plays “mom” or “dad”
• More inventive in fantasy play
• Dresses and undresses
• More independent
• May have imaginary friends or see monsters
• Often cannot distinguish between fantasy and reality

Red Flags for 3-4 Years:

• Still clings or cries when parents leave him
• Shows no interest in interactive games
• Ignores other children
• Doesn’t respond to people outside the family
• Doesn’t engage in fantasy play
• Resists dressing, sleeping, using the toilet
• Lashes out without any self-control when angry or upset
• Doesn’t use sentences of more than three words
• Doesn’t use “me” or “you” appropriately

4-5 Years Social/Emotional Developmental Milestones (by the end of age 4):

• Speaks sentences of more than 5 words
• Tells longer stories
• Says name and address
• Wants to please others and be with friends
• More likely to agree to rules
• Likes to sing, dance, and act
• Shows more independence

Red Flags for 4-5 Years:

• Exhibits extremely aggressive, fearful, or timid behavior
• Is unable to separate from parents
• Is easily distracted and unable to concentrate on ANY single activity for more than 5 minutes
• Refuses to respond to people in general
• Rarely uses fantasy or imitation in play
• Seems unhappy or sad much of the time
• Avoids or seems aloof with other children and adults
• Doesn’t express a wide range of emotions
• Has trouble eating, sleeping, or using the toilet
• Can’t differentiate between fantasy and reality
• Seems unusually passive
• Can’t give his first and last name
• Can’t understand two part commands and prepositions (“put the cup on the table,” “Get the ball under the couch”)

*Adapted from Shelov, S.P., & Hannemann, R.E. (1994).  The American Academy of Pediatrics: Caring for Your Baby and Young Children Birth to Age 5: The Complete and Authoritative Guide.  New York: Bantam Doubleday Dell Pub.